I'm Lost Without My Partner but with Renewed Strength!

Josh has been gone for about four and a half days and gee I am already a mess! What has become of me? Gee, I did not realize that I was so emotionally attached! Josh and I have been married for six years and this will be the longest he will be away! ( Four weeks with maybe a weekend visit?). I now have taken on the role of daddy, which is quite a heavy load with my already role of mommy and student! ack! Maybe that's why I miss him sooooo much? I find myself bursting in tears for no apparent reason! The other day, I shed a few tears in the computer room at school. (I told you I was a mess). Some may say I need to stay busy! Well that's not a problem! I am super busy!

Okay, so its been nine days since Josh has left and I'm still alive and not dying. Although, some days it feels like that. Instead of small episodes of crying, its now a deep sadness that last about five minutes and than afterwards I am simply okay! I have come to the conclusion that I am a whimp! I can't live without my hubby. I mean for heaven's sake he's not gonna be gone for months or years.. gee. I often have to tell myself to get a grip and smile!

Well, in my depth of despire I found out I had some inner strength. I've learned a lot these past nine days without my hubby! It's funny how that happens. When you think the whole weight of the world is on you, you find your load getting lighter and lighter. Crazy how that happens, huh?

Well, with the mister being gone I found out some things and here they are:

• I don't have to cook lavish meals at all! I can break out the roman noodles and mac and cheese and the kids are simply happy!
• The kids and I are out of the house before 7:20am! That never happens and taylor is actually at school on time! Neat?
• I run with my kids and push them in our double instep stroller! I realized I am getting a more intense workout, something the treadmill could not give me. :)
• The kids are in bed at 8:30 and are asleep before 9pm. Again, something that never happens. Amazing.
• The bedroom and bathroom is spotless
• I realized that the times my hubby watched the kids while I was studying was a huge job especially with no place to lounge around in. (Taylor and I attend school in price, utah. 30 min from castle dale). So, the waiting game can be intense. So, with that as my new role, I have come to appreciate him even more!!
• I now have to worry about gas and making sure everything is running smoothly with the car!!

The list can go on and on. But I recognized that I have kicked into a higher gear to stay on top of things. Knowing that my hubby is not going to be around, I naturally have been trying harder not knowingly! Which is fantastic!

This happens to be a trial for me and gladly I like to say, I'm doing okay!